i am learning that who i am now is not exactly who i will be in a decade, next week, or even this afternoon. i am learning that who i am is a futile and pitiful effort to be the spitting image of my Father. i am not as much of a chip off the old block as i aspire to be. my apple falls very far from the tree. however, the more i think less about me or who i am trying to be, the more i figure out who he really wants me to be and in turn become slightly more like Him. the more time and energy i spend at His feet the more his image imprints my heart and mind. the more i loose the distinction between him and myself. of this i am very pleased. not pleased with myself by any means, it has very little to do with my efforts. actually, it has nothing to do with my efforts.
on a lighter note, i have decided for various reasons to like winter. other than the vast amount of time i have wasted defrosting windshields and fingers this week, i have actually become very fond of ice. the way he slumbers on the street, hugging up to the pavement and grasping the covers of cold air over his back in a last ditch effort to escape the gaze of the sun. his patience and lingering has taught me that i am really not in control. i cannot melt him or move him. to even tread on him is dangerous territory. i guess, all in all, i just like finding things that are more stubborn than me. because if God can dust my street with ice in the night and melt it in the morning, then He can change me. make me new.
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